Thread:Ursuul/@comment-29771477-20170408140454

I can't tell whether I'll be okay when I'm older or not. I try to get into habits like going for runs, doing chores, drinking water, but it's all just pointless because I'm already hideously mentally unhealthy. I'm completely oblivious to how people feel about me, I can't handle failure, and I can't get any closer to my friends because if I tell them all my secrets my entire life will be turned upside doen. I dunno what to do anymore.....

Perhaps I will be okay if/when I run away when I finish high school. I can dye my hair, pursue whatever career I want, go wherever I want to go IF I get the right kind of help.....But what about the costs??? I can't just up and support myself when I'm 18, especially since I won't be allowed to drive. And some of my friends have 1000s saved up, while I've got $0.

If I stay instead of calling the police I'll only have to be beaten like......30-ish more times......I can handle that.......

I don't know why I'm rambling. I'm sorry if this makes you feel negatively or something. 