Thread:Ursuul/@comment-29771477-20171219024003/@comment-29771477-20171227033243

Pi, I have taken most of your suggestions and put them into my essay, as well as used my classmate (who got a prefect grade)'s advice to rewrite the conclusion and first paragraph of the body. I'd like you to review my essay one more time, if you have the chance:

ENEMIES CAN BECOME FRIENDS

Do you have any close friends that you used to hate? Chances are, you do. But, what did they do to make you hate them? How much would you want to befriend that same person if they beat you to within an inch of your life? What if they shot and killed one of your best friends? At a glance, Peter and Cole’s relationship at the end of Touching Spirit Bear seems impossible to transform into a healthy friendship, which is understandable. Nonetheless, I believe it has a good chance of surviving. So long as enemies acknowledge their wrongs and learn to embrace their archnemesis’ flaws, truly awesome things can happen. In my opinion, enemies can become friends.

For instance, almost anyone who has read Touching Spirit Bear will agree that Peter and Cole’s friendship is strange and rather rocky. But, there is evidence showing that their friendship is progressing well. Notably, they have started to carve together, which is a good symbol of their friendship. First, it shows that they are trusting each other, even after Peter defaced Cole’s carving. Second, because they trust each other like this, they are able to come up with win-win situations that will strengthen their friendship. Last, it shows that they’re having frequent, positive interactions by choice. Therefore, I think there’s a great chance they’ll have a good, healthy friendship because they’re allowing each other to fix their mistakes! Unlike before, Peter and Cole are expressing tolerance and concern towards each other. Sure, Peter and Cole were enemies before, but because they have forgiven each other, these enemies can become friends.

To further demonstrate my point, there is a story that I’m very fond of which I found from my favourite game developer, Nicky Case. In particular, it’s a story about trench warfare where approximately 100,000 soldiers fighting in WWI agreed to have a truce for Christmas. These soldiers were ordered not to fraternize with the enemy, yet they decided to play games like soccer, sing Christmas carols, exchange gifts, and eat Christmas dinner with each other instead! You’re probably wondering how it’s possible that these people who likely shot each other’s closest friends ate Christmas dinner together; Hitler himself, a soldier at this time, found the temporary truce disgusting. Indeed, they saw the humanness in their enemies and decided that a truce rather than more killings and pain was the way to go. Furthermore, some historians have argued that if the soldiers could have ended the war then, they would have. Nicky Case says the takeaway from this story is that there’s three main “ingredients” we need for enemies to become friends: an element of trust, repeated interactions, and mutual effort put forth towards a win-win situation, and I agree. With this in mind, enemies can become friends.

By the same token, a respected author named Charles A. Kupchan wrote a book supporting my thesis called “How Enemies Become Friends: The Sources of Stable Peace”. In short, it states that sworn enemies can become friends if they work hard at it and have tolerance for each other, even on the national level. In addition, a quick google search reveals that the main points supporting his thesis are almost identical to Nicky Case’s; the three things we need for enemies to become friends are an element of trust, repeated interactions, and mutual effort. Although he adds a thought I disagree with (one party must be ‘backed against a wall’), the rest of his points are morally sound and logical. If Case and Kupchan list of needs are met, enemies can surely become friends.

All things considered, Peter and Cole will likely become good friends, as long as they learn to truly forgive each other. Even though some may argue that a friendship between two boys who have beaten each other nearly to death is doomed to fail, I strongly disagree. Peter and Cole’s relationship has the three “ingredients” necessary for a healthy friendship between two people who were enemies in the past. To enumerate, they both are trying to become friends, they trust each other, and they’ve had many interactions, positive and negative. Remember to take caution, and don’t judge an unlikely friendships (like Peter and Cole’s) by its cover.

[4 relevant links]

1) Why I didn't remove "a story I'm fond of": I just couldn't really force myself to, lol. It's important to me that the teacher knows I like Nicky Case for some reason I can't put my finger on. If it weakens my essay just a tiny but, so be it.

2) Why I didn't rephrase "which is understandable": Classmate says it's fine, so it probably is. Also, you're probs saying that cuz you haven't read touching spirit bear and are therefore missing context.

3) Why I rewrote the first body paragraph and reworked the conclusion: Classmate said that my points in that paragraph were too against my thesis, and after a while of staring at it I agreed with em. So I added all that stuff about them carving trees together and singing Kumbaya together to better support my thesis.

4) Why I left Kupchan's "anti-opinion" in there: Because if you look at the other two paragraphs, you'll see that the ratio of "stuff I disagree with: stuff I agree with" is pretty balanced, but in the Kupchan paragraph it seemed a bit off. So I added that one bit in there since it felt totally wrong to pave over it and pretend it didn't exist. After all, if you look it up you'll see that is a huge part of his argument.

5) If you feel kinda lost, that's okay. The teacher I'm giving this to has read TSB dozens of times, unlike you, and should therefore be able to tell what I'm alluding to every time I mention it, or Peter, or Cole.