Project:Chat/Logs/13 March 2017

 [12:29]  ur- [12:29] . [12:29]  me too sombie [12:29]  *zo,bie [12:29]  *zombie [12:29]  fec lol [01:02]  shit [01:02]  Özün Oldun got hecked [01:11]  URSUUL [01:12]  PLEASE. [01:14]  wot [01:14]  Oh thank fuck [01:14]  Help me [01:14]  I need to tell you something [01:14]  My mom is trying to quit smoking. [01:14] <Ursuul> hmmm [01:14] <Ursuul> Goes badly? [01:15] <QUEEN AYSHA> It's why she's been re- [01:15] <QUEEN AYSHA> what do you think [01:15] <QUEEN AYSHA> it [01:15] <Ursuul> Addiction is like that [01:15] <QUEEN AYSHA> s why she's been relaxed for two weeks and yesterday she lost her shit [01:15] <Ursuul> It’ll be worth it, so long as she doesn’t relapse. [01:15] <Ursuul> Trust meh. [01:15] <QUEEN AYSHA> I was afraid she was gonna hit me again and I considered hiding in the bathroom until- [01:16] <QUEEN AYSHA> I don't trust you at all [01:16] <QUEEN AYSHA> She's still abusive anyways, with drugs or not [01:16] <QUEEN AYSHA> so..... [01:16] <Ursuul> Getting out of a drug addiction is hard. It’s hit more than one of my family. It tears you up as you climb out. [01:16] <Ursuul> But once you’re out [01:16] <QUEEN AYSHA> I considered - [01:16] <Ursuul> it’s like being your old self [01:16] <Ursuul> at least that’s what I’ve seen of my cousin [01:16] <Ursuul> it’s like he’s 20 again [01:16] <QUEEN AYSHA> You-you don't UNDERSTAND [01:17] <Ursuul> Enlighten me then [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> My mom has MENTAL ISSUES [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> drugs no drugs [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> DOES NOT MATTER [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> she's still pretty crazy and abusive [01:17] <Ursuul> Drugs invariably make disorders worse. [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> well exactly [01:17] <QUEEN AYSHA> even if she does get out [01:17] <Ursuul> Hence why removing drugs from the occasion will be worth it. [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> she'll still be abusive [01:18] <Ursuul> It may be bad, but won’t be as exacerbated. [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> ^ [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> It'll still be bad [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> bad=still hit, I'll still wanna die most of the time [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> ANYWAYS [01:18] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm trying to tell you what happened [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> yesterday I considered [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> hiding in the bathroom until she went to work [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> but I didn't [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> she really lost it today [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> she was mad at my dad and everything and she was crazy all over again [01:19] <QUEEN AYSHA> at one point, before I knew she was trying to quit, she locked herself in the bathroom [01:20] <QUEEN AYSHA> and I thought she was smoking again in there [01:20] <QUEEN AYSHA> but she wasn't [01:20] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm so afraid [01:20] <QUEEN AYSHA> she's so........abusive, and I can't tell what things really are cuz I just...can't. [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> And I had a dream the other day [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> in it [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> and this is the pointless part lol: [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> PewDiePie actually went to pax [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> that fan meetup event [01:21] <QUEEN AYSHA> and I also had a phone [01:22] <QUEEN AYSHA> but there was a thought -except I was sleeping, but it was a recurring THOUGHT- that kept going through my head [01:22] <QUEEN AYSHA> : [01:22] <QUEEN AYSHA> Me in high school, with my phone, having the same friends, [01:23] <QUEEN AYSHA> and one day after "getting out" of my situation [01:23] <QUEEN AYSHA> me posting a thing on social media [01:23] <QUEEN AYSHA> with a video- [01:23] <QUEEN AYSHA> This is really vivid and specific [01:24] <QUEEN AYSHA> A video of me being beaten by a belt by my mom, a picture of tears running down my face, a picture of my arm with cuts and welts all over it, and a picture of my dad [01:24] <QUEEN AYSHA> I hope you're listening [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> in the dream [01:25] <Ursuul> Aye, waiting for you to finish. [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> there was all kinds of different captions [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> I put [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> of various lengths [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> one, something along the lines of [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> 'You've never known me. It's time for me to share my story" [01:25] <QUEEN AYSHA> and another [01:26] <QUEEN AYSHA> very long and definetly on facebook instead of somewhere else [01:26] <QUEEN AYSHA> I don't know what that means but [01:26] <QUEEN AYSHA> another thin that happened [01:26] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm almost done- [01:26] <QUEEN AYSHA> another thing that happened is [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> my friend emma (if you don't know her say and I'll give you a refresher on what she's like) called me [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> and invited me over [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> but I was doing my book report [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> ALL DAY [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> and when my mom was mad [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> she said I was selfish because I didn't call her back [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA> Lemme tell you [01:27] <QUEEN AYSHA>, [01:28] <QUEEN AYSHA> it hit a nerve HARD [01:28] <QUEEN AYSHA> I literally felt the wave of emotion and anger go through me [01:28] <QUEEN AYSHA> I basically freaked out, my mom said she wasn't gonna get me a phone for my birthday [01:28] <QUEEN AYSHA> , [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> and my dad started yelling to get me to quiet down and not anger her [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> after that [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> my mom decided to go out with her friend martina (possibly to drink alcohol, I heard) [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> but I was upset so I was blastinbg music in my head phones [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> it makes me feel better [01:29] <QUEEN AYSHA> unfortunately [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> my mom was talking to me [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> and she freaked out then too [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> that was probly a bad move [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> I;m done. [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> *I'm [01:30] <Ursuul> ok [01:30] <Ursuul> &amp; this was all a dream? [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> no no no no no no [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> woops [01:30] <QUEEN AYSHA> I didn't clear that up [01:31] <Ursuul> :/ [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> &gt;there was all kinds of different captions [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> I put [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> of various lengths [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> one, something along the lines of [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> 'You've never known me. It's time for me to share my story" [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> and another [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> very long and definetly on facebook instead of somewhere else [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> I don't know what that means but [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> that was the dream lol [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm sorry [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> I wasn't clear [01:31] <Ursuul> Ah. [01:31] <QUEEN AYSHA> so sorry [01:31] <Ursuul> What happened after your outburst at your mom? [01:32] <Ursuul> Where your dad had to break it up? [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> the- [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> oh.... [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> we had to eat dinner [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> I got off the computer [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> and ate at the dining table instead of near my mom and dad [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm not sure why [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> all through [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> my mom kept yelling [01:32] <QUEEN AYSHA> I felt sick to my stomach and could barely eat [01:33] <QUEEN AYSHA> then I came back here and made a few posts [01:33] <QUEEN AYSHA> and started the music [01:33] <QUEEN AYSHA> the dream was m=when I was older and on my phone [01:33] <QUEEN AYSHA> cuz in the dream I had "gotten out" remember? [01:33] <Ursuul> Yes [01:33] <QUEEN AYSHA> the emma thing and beyon id reality [01:34] <QUEEN AYSHA> *is [01:34] <QUEEN AYSHA> do you know her? [01:34] <QUEEN AYSHA> like, have I talked about her? [01:34] <Ursuul> I believe you may have, but I can’t keep up with all of the names; apologies. I recall her name but not her personality. [01:35] <QUEEN AYSHA> It's okay, I often think about how I'm bad with expecting people to remember names [01:35] <QUEEN AYSHA> Emma is one grade younger than me [01:35] <QUEEN AYSHA> she was basically my second real, true best friend [01:35] <Ursuul> ok [01:35] <QUEEN AYSHA> She came after a conflict with my choldhood best freind [01:35] <QUEEN AYSHA> named madison [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> madison stole all my stuff [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> on my bday [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> but that's another [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> story for another day [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> emma is the one that went to the pride parade when she was 8 [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> emma is an activist [01:36] <QUEEN AYSHA> and a vegan [01:36] <Ursuul> Ah. [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> she also likes to go on special diets with her other friends to support them when they do [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> not in a bad way [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> like, [01:37] <Ursuul> I can’t see how a diet can be done in a bad way lol. [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> a no sugar diet, or no gluten, or things like tha- [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> ....... [01:37] <Ursuul> As long as she doesn’t try to make other people eat as she then she can eat what she wants. [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> Anorexia......????? [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> you know..... [01:37] <QUEEN AYSHA> BAD diets [01:37] <Ursuul> That’s not a diet lol [01:38] <Ursuul> That’s a disorder [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> *ultimate facepalm* [01:38] <Ursuul> ;) [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> sometimes you just don't get me [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> I KNOW [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> [01:38] <Ursuul> Tsk. [01:38] <Ursuul> Can’t know everything all the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> I KNOW WHAT ANOREXIA IS, I WANNA BE A DOCTOR WHEN I GROW UP [01:38] <Ursuul> then why’d ya call it a diet :P [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> I WATCH VIDEOS ON CRASHCOURSE ABOUT YOU- [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> No. [01:38] <Ursuul> lmao crashcourse [01:38] <QUEEN AYSHA> I said, [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> no wait [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> YOU said [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm nt sure diets can be done in a bad way [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> and I said [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> "Anorexia..????" [01:39] <Ursuul> You brought up diets first [01:39] <Ursuul> hence why I said diet [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> because diets tend to sometimes go along with that [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> just wait [01:39] <Ursuul> I need a done image [01:39] <QUEEN AYSHA> then I changed the thing and said [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> bad diets [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> in response [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> to the OTHER thing you said [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> because.... [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> diets that are bad are bad way sto diet [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> you get???? [01:40] <Ursuul> Nope :) [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> . [01:40] <QUEEN AYSHA> Are you serious for real rn [01:41] <QUEEN AYSHA> are you [01:41] <Ursuul> Seriously I don’t get what you’re trying to say. I think you’re trying to say you used diets colloquially with anorexia [01:41] <Ursuul> but I’m not sure [01:41] <Ursuul> Because the first thing you mentioned was diets [01:41] <QUEEN AYSHA> UGGGGGh [01:41] <QUEEN AYSHA> ugh ugh ugh [01:41] <QUEEN AYSHA> fine I'll explain [01:41] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm trying to say [01:42] <QUEEN AYSHA> if you become anorexic FROM a diet, which is VERY common, that's a BAD WAY TO DIET [01:42] <QUEEN AYSHA> are you following????? [01:42] <QUEEN AYSHA> THEN I SAID [01:42] <Ursuul> Yes I believe so. [01:42] <QUEEN AYSHA> diets that are bad are bad ways to diet [01:42] <QUEEN AYSHA> do you get that??? [01:43] <Ursuul> Sure, I get that. [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA> SO, some terrible diets=anorexia, but anorexia =/= diets, and not all diets CAN give you anorexia [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA> If you get that, [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA> MOVING ON [01:44] <Ursuul> not on board but go on [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA>. [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA> Whatever. [01:44] <QUEEN AYSHA> I was saying, [01:45] <QUEEN AYSHA> the last thing about emma [01:45] <QUEEN AYSHA> Brace yourself: her parents divorced last evar, and her dad committed suicide [01:45] <QUEEN AYSHA> Her mom is now a single parent [01:45] <QUEEN AYSHA> I was there all summer as it slowly progressed and got worse [01:46] <QUEEN AYSHA> it being the situation [01:46] <QUEEN AYSHA> what did him in is [01:46] <QUEEN AYSHA> at one point she went to Kelowna and he couldn't talk to her for a week [01:46] <QUEEN AYSHA> *********two weeks [01:46] <Ursuul> Damn. [01:49] <QUEEN AYSHA> hold on [01:50] <QUEEN AYSHA> one second [01:51] <Ursuul> Hello SR [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> HOLY SHIT [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> I DIDN'T REALIZE [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> COMMUNITY CENTRAL [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> HAS TOWN HALLS [01:53] <Ursuul> What about it [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> AHHHHHHH WOW [01:53] <Ursuul> well yeah [01:53] <Ursuul> there’s a CSS one [01:53] <Ursuul> on the 25th [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> It's cool! [01:53] <Ursuul> me &amp; Count are going [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> : ) [01:53] <QUEEN AYSHA> I ship it [01:54] <Ursuul> -_- [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> You and count [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> lol [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> I ship it SO hard [01:54] <Ursuul> tsk [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> this is hitting me like a truck [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> perfect ship [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> - [01:54] <QUEEN AYSHA> lololololol [01:56] <QUEEN AYSHA> I'm back come back [02:40] <Count of Howard> b0rk test [02:40] <Count of Howard> unb0rked?! [02:40] <Count of Howard> Phenomenal. [04:45] <Skye Sim> Hi guys. [04:50] <Skye Sim> HI. [04:50] <Skye Sim> Anyone? [05:06] <Skye Sim> Please, SR. Make up your mind. [05:23] <YukinoZan> k [07:40] <FrostyLemonuu> hi [07:42] <FrostyLemonuu> (hybrid) [07:49] <Sniperman22> I'm back from -cough- hell -cough- my dads. [07:49] <Sniperman22> Got to go to bed. [08:01] <Skye Sim> Hi everyone. [08:01] <Skye Sim> If I'm not here, say hi again.