User:Khitrish Mapping/secret/Deletofass UNCENSORED EDITION!

Deletofass [deː.liː.to.fɑːs], A species branching off the Sassafrassio family. Also a boss. Younger brother of Teleportium

L33Ks are a y-shaped polygon, with the top branches being green and the base being white. Similar to something but can't put my diddly darn ho finger on it. They will spawn everywhere on the map right before deleto joins.

lettuc is a green polygon that heals a player after killed with body damage but after time gives withdrawal and quickly 'fires an mp5 bullet at them. 'WILL beep if annoyed.

Info thingy or whatevermajobwaitthisisntgoogle
Deletofass, similar to sassafras, although with considerably higher health (5480111811 hp) and no spawners. Has mp5s instead of regular weapons, His eye can lazor a tank into becoming 3 deletos Each spawns enough lettuc to beep like earrape if annoyed.

Oh boy here comes the

AWESOME AS FUCK BEHAVIOUR
Spawning:

Deletofass spawns slowly because all OS's lag upon doing it, so you get elevator music to stay patient. (https://youtu.be/YBAmoSX7isw)

Deletofass will say this: "Alright. As I took the liberty to see the tapes of what happened when you little shits killed my own brother, I came up with a plan to not make the same mistakes.
 * 1) Actual real weapons, instead of those puny plastic "cannons". *Tightens MP5s*
 * 2) Start the lettuc immediately.
 * 3) No shitty minions to get in my way
 * 4) Deletos killing you. Leading us to number 5
 * 5) A deletos spawning laser eye!

Stage 1:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocW3fBqPQkU plays while in stage 1)

Lettuce starts to spawn around deletofass like crashers around a nest. During this the only uses his mp5s which shoot a flash of yellow towards a player exactly halving their current hp.

When taken down to 3/4 of his hp stage 2 will start and he will shout "A U R O R A  B O R E A L I S"

Stage 2:

(https://youtu.be/dcGmj9TYLqk?t=18s plays during this) Deletofass will start to use his eye lazor during this battle and if 6 L33Ks exactly are around him in a near-hexagonal manner he will drop the mp5s, grab the L33Ks, start spinning them and sing https://youtu.be/qmf9JkedPR8?t=17s for 10 straight seconds. Until then players can grab the mp5s and shoot deletofass, altough it only does minor damage. It has high bullet speed and reload though. Deletofass will then grab his weapons form the inferior players and start attacking yet again, this goes on until there are no L33Ks. After 2/4 of his hp is gone stage 3 starts.

Stage 3:

(https://youtu.be/NBAE-H_OyO0 will play during this) Deletofass's reload doubles and his aim gets better. He will start running around like a lunatic. All while spinning crazily. He'll start shouting random meme quotes as the battle goes on. Such as "STEAMED HAMS" or "A LIGHTSWITCH". This will go on until 1/4 of his hp is left. Stage 4 will then start.

Stage 4:

(Stage 4 theme: https://youtu.be/5zo7BYoaqAA?t=15s) Stage 4 is very agressive. With Deletofass starting to kill everything in sight. lettuc will start spawning very frequently and L33Ks will start spawning very rarely.

His damage will get higher. And his hp starts to regen. although it wont go back to a previous stage.

This happens until 1/16th of his hp is left, which triggers the fifth stage.

Stage 5:

(https://youtu.be/Qskm9MTz2V4?t=17s plays now)

Similar to stage 4 but much more agressive. lettuc will start spawning everywhere on the map, not just near Deletofass. Hp regens mujch faster. His eye will now have incredible power. Lettuc will heal less and withdrawal will slow down the tank, make bullets, drones and traps weaker and stop all regen even before damage starts to come. FoV of other players decreases, while Deletofass's will increase quickly over time.

You're pretty much fucked from here. Seriously. Until he dies you have to fight. 1/32 of his hp triggers the... 6th stage. Surprisingly the game turns a bit glitchy from here on out.

Stage 6:

(https://youtu.be/FzVISJlZDC4?t=24s) More agressive than when stubbed his toe on a Lego. Practically almost instant regen, you'd need a cross between a gunner and annihilator to take this one down by yourself... (In 2 hours). L33Ks run away and lettuc will spawn incredibly frequently. His MP5's double and turn to AK-47's (Which set the player's hp to a third instead of a half). on 1/64 on his hp the 7th stage will begin.

Stage 7:

(https://youtu.be/2vdO509YW3I?t=4m45s)

Same as stage 6 except everything triples up. Stage gets smaller and smaller. At 1/96 hp he begins stage 8

Stage 8: (https://youtu.be/7WYqcJCaHq4?t=1m32s)

Deletofass pauses until 1/128 of his hp. lettuc withdrawal becomes a fuckton worse.

Stage 9: (https://youtu.be/BnTW6fZz-1E?t=8s)

Deletofass wakes up, drinks an ENTIRE FUCKING VODKA BOTTLE and then smashes it, opens a bag of semechki and loudly shouts "CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE", making the entire server tremble for 10 seconds. The vodka bottle spins around him, dealing an insta kill in damage and reflecting bullets, the semechki acts similar to lettuc, except it also slows you down alot, and is also thrown at you like a shotgun. He will throw the halva to succ in bullets.

Final stage:

(https://soundcloud.com/falkkone/we-are-number-one)

Deletofass rips open revealing his 2th form. Becoming more agressive than when meltdown's photoshop crashed at the end of his project (without saving). In this stage Deletofass's eye will start to look mad as hell. Glitching like a lunatic and moving incredibly fast. He will smash eggs everywhere and L33Ks are gone. Lettuce replaces all polygon spawns. AK-47's shoot. It's absolute CHAOS. Everything starts to bug out in the game in this stage. The final (Probably) and 9th stage

Regen is almost Light-speed fast.

Death...?:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KolfEhV-KiA)

Deletofass succumbs to the are die. Thats it. What do you want to know... Wait a second what's that so-

Stage X:

PART 6. FAKE MY OWN DEATH!

(https://youtu.be/dgF6mADd4qA) Deletofass reveals his (actual) hp (being 20 times the original hp he faked to have) This is the true final stage. lettuc starts to act like crashers, ramming into every tank they can find. The game is overall just glitching. All servers except this are closed. Every player is redirected here to have a final battle with Deletofass. When down to 1͝/̴̡̛6̷66͟th̵͘ ̷h͜p̴̕ y҉̧̢͘o̵̡͜͞u̸҉ ̵̧͝͠ẁ̨̀i̸̶l̸̵͢͜͞l̡͢͠͞ ͏̛d̸ì̷͘̕e̶̛͡, l͊͌͛͂ͦ̑͏͇͓̪̦͈̰̩̝e͐̏͋ͫͫͧ́ͩ̈́͏̴̟̲̮ą̪͖̤̟̺͙̌͌͑v̂͋͆̂͊̉ͧ҉̶̹̱̟̮̥͇̣̼̳e̴̵͖̠̫͓͓ͮ̓̿̓͂͟ ̶̸͓͎̿̎͗ͅa̭̞̲̓ͭ́̃͑̇n̢̞̖̦̹̏ͫͧͦ̚͟ḍ̢̛̠ͨ̎̔̏͛ͮ̍ ͖̖̘͇̬̫̦͔ͧͦ̽͊͐̃ͥͦ̕͠s̨̜̜̪̱̝̙̈̈u̢̙͈̠̼ͤ̎ͥ̾r̶̤̫͇̥̙ͭ͞ͅr̸̯̘͍̯͇̓͗̊̀̏̿͡ẽ̴̟̪͍́ņ̽̌̀̈ͩ҉̸̮͉d͕̻̜͔̐͊͒́̐͐͂̀̋͡e̶̝̺̠̗͇̘͙͇͋ͭ̅́̏̄̋̈́r̥͈̱͛ͬ

̢̛A͏̶͘͟͡A̴͠A͝͏̛͘A҉͏͘A̷̴̵̢͜À͢͝͡: (After down to 1/420 - 1/69 hp, Extra large stage)

Good job breaking it, hero.

(https://youtu.be/fG8tCgq1G8w?t=5m49s)

1/106 chance of BSOD on any hit. Deletofass Enlargens to 20 times his size. The diep grid starts ripping apart. Entities (Tanks, polygons and other stuff) now teleport around the map randomly every minute. The world starts burning. Bullets will start homing. The grid slowly implodes over time. lettuc turns to huge sawblades. Y͓̰̰̫ͩͭ̕ŏ̬̟ͫ͘ͅu̬̥͗ͭ̑̌'͆͗͑͏̲̖̦͓r̼͙̭͉̝ͭ̍ͫ́̃̚e̎͆̓ͪ̅́̑ ̞̠͍͔͕͕̱ͭ͆͊̊ͤd̛̯ͧ͒͗̐e͓̠͙̫͎̣̠̅̓ͬͤ̄a̬̞̩͉̱̬͡d̥͖̿͊ͪ ̪̪̻̣ͥ̂t̼͖o̒ ̛͔͊ͨͧ̂ͥh͊̄̅ͭ̀iͤͦ̈̿͒͜m̲̞͕̙͇̘̙̓̋̍̔̓͆.͔̦͍ͫͨͬ̅ Deletofass becomes more and more violent and fucked-up the more we go on.

(Your) Death:

(https://youtu.be/30mncf2_fJw?t=2m27s) Deletofass becomes absolutely insane. 1/99999... 99... 9 Chance 9 to 9 win. 9 Your 9 OS 9 starts 9 to 9 degrade 9 making 9 the 9 battle 9 harder. 9 The 9 losing 9 screen 9 will 9 lag 9 so 9 much 9 your 9 PC 9 explodes, 9 killing 9 you 9 in 9 the 9 process. 9 It's 9 either 9 him 9 or 9... You. 9 All 9 bosses 9 spawn 9 at 9 once 9 now. 9 Deletofass 9 will 9 make 9 your 9 speakers 9 work 9 on 9 the 9 Richter 9 scale. 9 So 9 turn 9 your 9 volume 9 down 99 so 9999 as 9999999 to 999999999nine nine99 nine nine nin999e nine nine nine nine n99ine nine nine nin99e nine nine nin999e ni9999ne... nine nine nine nine nine 9999nine nine nine nine 9999nine nine999...

Death:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy61r3Qkm6o) Plays. Diep is dead. That's it. Close your pc. Go outside or something. You beat the game. You beat it. Well done. Wait for HL3 or something. Go away, you're finished, it's not like there's another RPG of it or something, is there? No sequel or something. Zeach abandoned it long ago... Goodb-

Trivia

 * This is basically a memefest
 * April fools. Not much of a prank tho. Just a joke concept that isn't a joke... Like an anti-joke concept. You're supposed to think its a bad joke concept but *idubbz voice* Hey it's pretty good!

Oof
R.I.P. Robbie Rotten, you will be missed.