Tale of Diep:Sassafras

According to all known laws of aviation...

Overview
Sassafras is a that spawns under some very strict conditions. Someone with a Permanent Upgrade from the must be killed by a Guardian, Summoner, Defender, Fallen Booster, or Fallen Overlord. Created by Zathsu.

Sassafras looks like a large tan hexagon. A single eye, like that of, sits on top of it but yellow. At each of the edges on top of the boss, giant Trapper Auto Turrets and Auto Dominator Turrets alternate. Since it is an Auto Turret it can aim at players. On each side is a spawner that spans the whole side of the body. He was created by.

BGM 

Behavior


Sassafras will wander around surprisingly quickly, looking around at players with the glowing yellow pupil in its black eye. It will spin slowly as well, like an Auto 5.

The Trapper barrels fire out Mega Traps and the Dominator barrels will track the closest player. The Dominator bullets (which are really Gunner bullets) slightly curve and home in on players, but with so little effort it's almost unnoticeable. They will explode into a ring of sixteen smaller bullets (the size of a 's) four seconds after firing if it did not make contact with a player.

Sassafras' spawners will shoot out small tan hexagonal Gunner Minions called 'Sassafras', that get into groups and gun down players. When a Sassafras minion is destroyed, all other Sassafras Minions will get the Frenzy buff for 2 seconds. He will begin spawning these at half health, and stop spawning them at quarter health. Every minion will say the word 'Sassafras' every few seconds, quietly.

During the battle, various random phrases with absolutely no meaning will be said. The line at the very top of the page is just an example. These lines are usually references to other famous lines, quotes, or pop culture. This is to disorient his foes. >_<



Quotes
'''New quotes can be added by anyone. Two rules: Italicize all quotes. And put new ones at the bottom. The rest is yours if you have ideas. Also note, quote purges may happen to remove some. Other than that, have fun.'''
 * "You remind me of birds more than pelicans..."
 * "According to all known laws of aviation..."
 * "I wumbo. You wumbo. He, she, we... wumbo?"
 * "Something smells funny."
 * "You can string cheese but can you tuna fish?"
 * "Its out of my hands, I'm only a clock."
 * "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
 * "I put the 'F' in piccolo"
 * "Are you feeling it now?"
 * "Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot..."
 * "You should have stopped while you were, a head."
 * "I vacuum the bugs out of the air with my mouth."
 * "Welcome to your tape..."
 * "Swords must bleed and blood must swing."
 * "It's probable that you do not see in the improbable."
 * "And so the world went... all nonsense..."
 * "IT HIT ITSELF IN CONFUSION!"
 * "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are 'ya!"
 * "Ah... Lawn darts are illegal in Canada..."
 * "It's almost as if I'm standing in something squishy..."
 * "I... KNOW EVERYTHING. AND YOUUUUU... KNOW NOTHING!"
 * "And now a kind South African man will come in and break all of your thumbs"
 * "It's a bit salty. Like a fresh wound."
 * "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
 * "The beast is coming for YOU."
 * "The answer to life, to the universe, everything, is 42."
 * "Han Solo dies at the end"
 * "Can jet fuel melt steel beams?"
 * "And then the Winged Hussars arrived!"
 * "Hah-hah."
 * "You have been in suspension for 9... 9... 9... 9... 9..."
 * "Get over here!"
 * "Welcome aboard, Captain."
 * "What does the fox say?"
 * "Burn, baby, burn."
 * "I like trains."
 * "My favorite polygon is a tetrahedron."
 * "NINE MORE SEASONS, MORTY!"
 * "A bit of the bubbly."
 * "He died seventeen days into rehab."
 * "The flight has been overbooked. We need four volunteers..."
 * "Its three minutes to midnight..."
 * "We are number one?"
 * "Hello, are you interested in my religion?"
 * "I AM THE SENATE!"
 * "I've got candy in my van"
 * "Four score and seven years ago..."
 * "Everyone gather around the television. We're going to watch Communism grow."
 * "CHOCOLATE RAIN!"
 * "GAAARRRRYYY!"
 * *hums the first twelve seconds of the Spiderman 2: The Game, Pizza Theme*
 * "Houston, we have a problem,"
 * "Life's most evolutionary masterpiece: The Pigeon"
 * "Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill..."
 * "I brought you a bass but the beat dropped it"
 * "What are all these socks doing here?"
 * "You make me mad. Like water in a swimming pool..."
 * "It's like living in a mountain, but with chickens..."
 * "Please make an eight"
 * "NOOoooo! THIS CANNOT BEEEEEE!"
 * "It's all there black and white, clear as crystal!"
 * "Face the corner and touch it with your nose"
 * "Please stop bathing with each other, it makes me uncomfortable".
 * "Peeled and smothered, like fine fresh vegetables,"
 * "Oh no, I ate that banana and now I have cancer"
 * "Put that thing back where it came from, OR SO HELP ME!"
 * "KA-ME HA-ME HAA!!!"
 * "Stop punching the cheese!"
 * "You have to um... you have to um... you have to uh... draw the SUN!"
 * "You can't sell stoves on Wednesday. Back in 1887.
 * "Some people say I have a nice mass"
 * "You're full of sausages"
 * "The juice is loose"
 * "CAREER SUICIDE"
 * "This is exhausting"
 * "LISTEN, I AM YOUR FATHER!"
 * "It's a trap(per)!"
 * "Hold on, I need to put on my fast pants"
 * "...LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"
 * "Sassafras"
 * "UNLIMITED POWER!"
 * "Eat my shorts!"
 * "Dark humor isn't everyone's cup of liquid baby,"
 * "He who laughs at the towel"
 * "Get ready to meet my special friend..."
 * "Paint me like one of your french tanks"
 * "Polygon Mother-Chan!"
 * "DELETE MY SEARCH HISTORY!"
 * "Snakes? Snakes?? SNAAAAAAAKKKEESS!"
 * "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!"
 * "Are your fists cold?"
 * "Its Jim! The original fry cook!"
 * "I eat floor off the food!"
 * "HAHAHA- wait, no, MWAHAHAHA!"
 * "whY My shOuLDerS HUrt?"
 * "Like some predatory bird..."
 * "Wait, I know you... you're the moron they built to make ME an IDIOT!"
 * "Tanks are circles, my eye is a circle, therefore my eye is a tank."
 * "Carrots are orange, some cats are orange, therefore orange cats are carrots."
 * "MACBETH!"
 * "I hate dust."
 * "Understandable, have a good day."
 * "THE IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!"
 * "Where's pizza?"
 * "Sassafras, 4."
 * "There is no Tri-Gun..."
 * "Would you like fries with death?"
 * "OF COURSE I'M NOT MENTALLY ILL!"
 * "Sassafras of sassy" 
 * "I like throwing my gunner minions in your face."
 * "Beli is my best friend."
 * "HEXEN WILL BE GLAD THAT I'M CLASSIFIED AS A HEXAGON!"
 * "The Polygon Mother does indeed has a husband."
 * "FUN FUN FUN FUN!"
 * "GO GO POWER RANGERS"
 * "Raised by ducks from a young age"
 * "That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works!"
 * "My name is Legion. We are many"
 * "You make a loopy-loop and pull..."
 * "Pablo Escobar has escaped from prison"
 * "Install *omitted black noise* to read the rest..."
 * *laughs in Foreign*
 * "Its The Revolution AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
 * "POYO ACHACHINI!"
 * "Can you please sit on my lap?"
 * "All your base are belong to us."
 * "Its small, but the implications of it are large..."
 * "NO, you had to press the butAUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!"
 * "More Info Coming Soon!"
 * "This is what i do, i sit on you, sit on you, sit on you..."
 * "Hello, could you spare some time to talk about our lord and savior Sassafras?"
 * "Once there was an ugly War Machine... it was so ugly that everyone DIED. The end. :3"
 * "Welcome to your sippy cup."
 * "Potato knishes."
 * "Kek to infinity."
 * "SomeBODY once told me that i was a shed..."
 * "Until you dream no more."
 * "DeeKow."
 * "We are basically doughnuts,"
 * "Press Alt+F4 to escape!"
 * "My family used to dream of what was beyond this wall..."
 * "WARNING: ORGANIC LIFEFORMS REQUIRE O2 MASK"
 * "If you can't do the crime then don't serve the time"
 * "Prepare for nuclear attack!"
 * "I wonder if my Disco-Rama wig is being shipped now!"
 * "Somebody once told me..."
 * "I was born in the wrong generation!"
 * "Ladies first..."
 * "So you're as good with your hands as you say?"
 * "NEVER go out in a blizzard."
 * "I will trespass upon you and your areas"
 * "The universe is teething in!"
 * "WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS!"
 * "It's so easy when you're evil..."
 * "Hello, killer memestar here!"
 * "I push my fingers into my eyes"
 * "Call Hexen! Sassafras has done him a heckin' good!"
 * "If you clean out a vacuum cleaner does that make you a vacuum cleaner?"
 * "Don't talk about fight club. Um... UH OH..."
 * "Insert obscure pop culture reference here"
 * "Everything the light touches is our kingdom..."
 * "Weather forecast says lightning storms headed your way!"
 * "Beware the hivemind"
 * "At least mom thinks I'm handsome..."
 * "HEXEN, WHERE'S MY COOKIE?"
 * "Between my friendly eye!"
 * "Hexen, the disciple of the Sassafras."
 * "Sassafras, the disciple of Sassafras."
 * "GUARDIAN Y IS MY HERO!"
 * "To Sassafras, and beyond!"
 * "Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras, Sassafras..."
 * "Someone seems making cult angry."
 * "Riddles. Riddles everywhere. Will you be able to solve them with your little brain BatTank?"
 * "Just kidding, welcome to hell kid, enjoy the buffet..."
 * "There's a man riding a horse on top of my chest..."
 * "And you won't believe your eyes... if ten million fireflies..."
 * "I think you're an idiot"
 * "Sassafras does not approve this message"
 * "Vote Trapper God 2020!"
 * "Get licked!"
 * "This isn't new years"
 * "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma..."
 * "SEVEN IS THE CARDINAL NUMBER. ONLY ACCEPT EVERY SEVENTH WORD AS FACT"
 * "The numbers, Mason, what do they mean?"
 * "I NEED A MONSTAH TO CLOBBAH DAT DERE KIRBEH!"
 * "Sorry, I can't hear you through my ridiculaphone!"
 * "No, this is Patrick..."
 * "It takes a loser to know a loser..."
 * "Order your Sassafras body pillow today!"
 * "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"
 * "Respect your ear. Clean behind your school. Stay in vegetable!"
 * "Can you guess what my favorite number is? its sassafras"
 * "We just got a letter! I wonder who its from?"
 * "NO! MY NEMESIS! CUCUMBER!"
 * "Are you assuming my polygon?!"
 * "I AM A BALLERINA!!!!"
 * "Would you like to star in my movie?"
 * "Take a look in my SECRET BOX!"
 * "Breathing in the chemicals..."
 * "Well EXCUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS?!"
 * "Get kek'd"
 * "HARJAJARJAJARJAMO!"
 * "You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out..."
 * "I've fallen and I can't get up..."
 * "Why do people say my feet smell if they don't have a nose?"
 * "I must answer the call of my people!"
 * "WHAT... IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?!"
 * "Swing it, baby!"
 * "Add a little sassafras and it should be good to go!"
 * "Hope Juan and Carlos don't beat me up today..."
 * "This is very good! YES! VERY GOOD!"
 * "You question my innocence? I WILL MURDER YOU!"
 * "THE SUN IS A DEADLY LAZER!"
 * "Where does this guy come from?"
 * "You trespass on sacred ground. Now you walk PATH OF DEATH!"
 * "Come here, boy! Give Sassafras the stick!"
 * "All around me are familiar faces..."
 * "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA!?"
 * "Heh, funny kid. You know what they did to wise guys like you back in Korea?"
 * "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
 * "Seduce me"
 * "All of you are dead!"
 * "Well, off to see your mother!"
 * "Way past cool!"
 * "A winner is Sassafras!"
 * "GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA! *spins* "
 * "I'll get you, He-Man!"
 * "I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease; make it cry, burn it, and let it swim"
 * "Well Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam..."
 * "WHAT!? ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! YOU ARE JOKING! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!"
 * "I play my trap card!"
 * "The Chef Boyardee was like quicksand..."
 * "And remember! REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM!"
 * "Ahh... f... Sassafras."
 * "Quack."
 * "THE CAKE IS A LIE."
 * "THAT'S A SPICY HEXEN!"
 * "OH HEXEN, YOU-A SO SPICY!"
 * "SASSAFRAS: THE MOVIE: NOW OUT IN THEATERS!"
 * "Meet Sassafras Supreme: Sassafras, now with 10 times the Sassafrasness!"
 * "ALL HAIL OUR LORD AND SAVIOR LORD SASSAFRAS!"
 * "Welcome to Sassafric Park."
 * (best Ennealis voice impression)"MOOOOM! DECRATITE AND TRITES ARE BUILDING A MEGA BOSS!"
 * "I'll give you the worst case of indigestion that you'll ever have!"
 * "And don't underestimate the importance of BODY LANGUAGE! HAH!"
 * "I'VE DONE MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN *holding a wand for a second*!"
 * "ehehehehehehehe..."
 * "Sassafras is more than meets the eye. His eye. His friendly eye."
 * "OH SASSAFREXEN, YOU-A SO SPICY!!!"
 * "Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick."
 * "*burps*"
 * "Hexagon plus Hexagon equals Dodecagon."
 * "I like Sliders, juicy sliders..."
 * "This is an unholy demon. I'm sending it back to hell, where it belongs."
 * "Hey hey hey, this is Fat Albert."
 * "Not until I shift into... *spins slowly* MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!! *speeds up and shakes*"
 * " TOP OF THE MORNING DEAR LADDIES "
 * "TOP OF THA MORNIN' DEAR LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSASSAFRASTICEYE"
 * " I hereby declare the all tanks be renamed pewers!! *anything nearby with arms facepalms*"
 * "So don't just sit there, slack-jawed, buggy-eyed, I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers!"
 * "Hello, could you please spare some time to talk about our lord and savior, Lord Sassafras?"
 * "The London Sassafras is falling up!"
 * "And now the weather..."
 * "IT'S ****ING COLD!" (said after And now the weather...)
 * "Why are there 10 luigi's stored in this room?"
 * "Republican Party, Democratic Party, Gremloids Party, MARIO PARTY"
 * "Guess you could say... I'm a dead meme." (said upon defeat)
 * "I'm going to kill you. Have a good day!"
 * "Green is a creative color."
 * WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO, WO (Any Sassafras minion around will randomly say "WO" as well)
 * Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (Said after the above quote, all Sassafras minions will say this too randomly)
 * By the ALL seeing SASSAFRAS, we are worthy... we are not... (Said after the above quote, all Sassafras minions will say this quote uniformly together.)
 * I SPIN DELTRABLADEZ FOR FUN
 * TOdAy I PrEsEnT t0 YoU, ThE Pencil.

Trivia

 * Guardian Bosses are my attempt at simple bosses, and as such, they are not of similar caliber to the Sons of Panzer, or anything of the like.
 * Since this is akin to Graviatar's stuff in mechanics, it will probably be very easy for him to make art of.
 * And so he did.
 * Sassafras was raised by ducks from a young age. It's how he mastered the art.
 * Sassafras is a big fan of.
 * Sassafras's favorite food is wasabi because it's green and spicy like.