Tale of Diep:Sassafras

According to all known laws of aviation...

Overview
Sassafras is a Guardian Boss that spawns under some very strict conditions. Someone with a Permanent Upgrade from the Panzergram must be killed by a Guardian, Summoner, Defender, Fallen Booster, or Fallen Overlord. Created by ZathusTheMageV.

Sassafras looks like a large tan hexagon. A single eye, like that of The Saw, sits on top of it but yellow. At each of the edges on top of the boss, a giant Trapper Auto Turret sits. Since it is an Auto Turret it can aim at players. There are two Auto Turret Dominator barrels on all six sides, with a spawner in the middle on each side.

Behavior
Sassafras will wander around surprisingly quickly, looking around at players with the glowing red pupil in its black eye. It will spin slowly as well, like an Auto 5.

The Trapper barrels fire out Mega Traps and the Dominator barrels will track the closest player. The Dominator bullets slightly curve and home in on players, but with so little effort its almost unnoticeable. They will explode into a ring of sixteen smaller bullets four seconds after fire if it did not make contact with a player.

Sassafras' spawners will shoot out small brown Gunner Minions called 'Sassafras', that get into groups and gun down players. When a Sassafras minion is destroyed, all other Sassafras Minions will get the Frenzy buff for 2 seconds. He will begin spawning these at half health, and stop spawning them at quarter health.

During the battle, various random phrases with absolutely no meaning will be said. The line at the very top of the page is just an example. These lines are usually references to other famous lines, quotes, or pop culture. This is to disorient his foes. >_<

Quotes
''NOTE: This area of the page is publicly editable. Please keep things within the realm of the appropriate though please. :/''

NOTE 2: BENI, NEW QUOTES GO AT THE END OF THE LIST AND SHOULD BE ITALICIZED


 * "You remind me of birds more than pelicans..."
 * "According to all known laws of aviation..."
 * "I wumbo. You wumbo. He, she, we... wumbo?"
 * "Something smells funny."
 * "You can string cheese but can you tuna fish?"
 * "Its out of my hands, I'm only a clock."
 * "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
 * "I put the 'F' in piccolo"
 * "Are you feeling it now?"
 * "Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot..."
 * "You should have stopped while you were, a head."
 * "I vacuum the bugs out of the air with my mouth."
 * "Welcome to your tape..."
 * "Swords must bleed and blood must swing."
 * "It's probable that you do not see in the improbable."
 * "And so the world went... all nonsense..."
 * "IT HIT ITSELF IN CONFUSION!"
 * "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are 'ya!"
 * "Twin Sunflower is a great card."
 * "Ah... Lawn darts are illegal in Canada..."
 * "I Sure like my home. In Hawaii, in the city of....Mars." (referring to a Chat joke)
 * "It's almost as if I'm standing in something squishy..."
 * "I... KNOW EVERYTHING. AND YOUUUUU... KNOW NOTHING!"
 * "And now a kind South African man will come in and break all of your thumbs"
 * "It's a bit salty. Like a fresh wound."
 * "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
 * "The beast is coming for YOU."
 * "The answer to life, to the universe, everything, is 42."
 * "Han Solo dies at the end"
 * "Can jet fuel melt steel beams?"
 * "My official title is sometimes Ultimate Supreme Executive Chairman"
 * "And then the Winged Hussars arrived!"
 * "Have you ever become a starfish while skiing down a mountain?"
 * "Hah-hah."
 * "Error, error, error, meaningless thing not fou---[insert second half of random other phrase]."
 * "You have been in suspension for 9... 9... 9... 9... 9..."
 * "Get over here!"
 * "Welcome aboard, Captain."
 * "The inverse of inverse is the inverse of inverse is the inverse of inverse..."
 * "What does the fox say?"
 * "Burn, baby, burn."
 * "I like trains."
 * "My favorite polygon is a tetrahedron."
 * "NINE MORE SEASONS, MORTY!"
 * "A bit of the bubbly."
 * "He died seventeen days into rehab."
 * "The flight has been overbooked. We need four volunteers..."
 * "Its three minutes to midnight..."
 * "Did I mention that we are number one?"
 * "Hello, are you interested in my religion?"
 * "I AM THE SENATE!"
 * "I've got candy in my van"
 * "Four score and seven years ago..."
 * "Everyone gather around the television. We're going to watch Communism grow."
 * "CHOCOLATE RAIN!"
 * "One death is a tragedy. One million deaths is a statistic"
 * "GAAARRRRYYY!"
 * *hums the first twelve seconds of the Spiderman 2: The Game, Pizza Theme*
 * "Houston, we have a problem,"
 * "Life's most evolutionary masterpiece: The Pigeon"
 * "I relish your defeat. You must ketchup or mayo fall behind?"
 * "Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill..."
 * "I brought you a bass but the beat dropped it"
 * "What are all these socks doing here?"
 * "Enter from the side door please,"
 * "You make me mad. Like water in a swimming pool..."
 * "It's like living in a mountain, but with chickens..."
 * "You're a wreck. Buy a sandwich. Start a war"
 * "Please make an eight"
 * "NOOoooo! THIS CANNOT BEEEEEE!"
 * "It's all there black and white, clear as crystal!"
 * "I want you to crawl out of my house"
 * "I demand you bleed from all of your orifices"
 * "Face the corner and touch it with your nose"
 * "Please stop bathing with each other, it makes me uncomfortable".
 * "Yo hablo Espanol. No escribo"
 * "GEH WEG!"
 * "Peeled and smothered, like fine fresh vegetables,"
 * "Oh no, I ate that banana and now I have cancer"
 * "Put that thing back where it came from, OR SO HELP ME!"
 * "KA-ME HA-ME HAA!!!"
 * "Stop punching the cheese!"
 * "You have to um... you have to um... you have to uh... draw the SUN!"
 * "You can't sell stoves on Wednesday. Back in 1887.
 * "Some people say I have a nice mass"
 * "You're full of sausages"
 * "The juice is loose"
 * "CAREER SUICIDE"
 * "This is exhausting"
 * "LISTEN, I AM YOUR FATHER!"
 * "It's a trap(per)!"
 * "Hold on, I need to put on my fast pants"
 * "...LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"
 * "Macaroni and cheese is delicious. Do not disagree with me,"
 * "Sassafras"
 * "UNLIMITED POWER!"
 * "Eat my shorts!"
 * "It is physically impossible to run without these shoes"
 * "Dark humor isn't everyone's cup of liquid baby,"
 * "He who laughs at the towel"
 * "What are these orbs in my head?"
 * "Get ready to meet my special friend..."
 * *kazoo noises*
 * "Paint me like one of your french tanks"
 * "Mi Amor"
 * "Polygon Mother-Chan!"
 * "DELETE MY SEARCH HISTORY!"
 * "Snakes? Snakes?? SNAAAAAAAKKKEESS!"
 * "Let's get ready for... *long silence* Did I really just do that?"
 * "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!"
 * "Are your fists cold?"
 * "Its Jim! The original fry cook!"
 * "Elite Barbarians... Three Musketeers... Furnace... wait, aren't I doing something dirty here?"
 * "I eat floor off the food!"
 * "HAHAHA- wait, no, MWAHAHAHA!"
 * "JaAm? I LiKe JaAm!"
 * "whY My shOuLDerS HUrt?"
 * "Like some predatory bird..."
 * "I'm gonna give you the worst case of... uh..."
 * "WHERE'S MY SOCKS?"
 * "SMELL MY SOCKS!!!!!"
 * "Wait, I know you... you're the moron they built to make ME an IDIOT!"
 * "The circumference of a tank is in fact horrifying, but getting mad over that fact is entirely necessary." 
 * "Today I breathed."
 * "Tanks are circles, my eye is a circle, therefore my eye is a tank."
 * "Carrots are orange, some cats are orange, therefore orange cats are carrots."
 * "MACBETH!"
 * "You're gonna have a bad time"

Special Quotes
''Reserve this space only for Zathus to edit... Sassafras' eye will go red and his tone of voice will change when these quotes are being said.''


 * "The sunken place at the end of the world. Wait for a special month..." (Referring to The Void)
 * "Ah yes, like the puppet in the castle..." (Referring to the Archpuppet)
 * "Be on the lookout for the butler..." (Referring to Boris the Ghost Butler)
 * "The man in the mountain has a lot of pride..." (Referring to Dr. Lacus and his overconfident nature)
 * "One death machine... two death machines... three? Eh heh heh..." (Referring to the secret existence of the War Machine III)

Trivia

 * Guardian Bosses are my attempt at simple bosses, and as such, they are not of similar caliber to the Sons of Panzer, or anything of the like.
 * Since this is akin to Graviatar's stuff in mechanics, it will probably be very easy for him to make art of.
 * Lowest health of every new boss added in the Tale of Diep, even having less than basic bosses like The Summoner already in Diep.io.
 * Sassafras was raised by ducks from a young age. It's how he mastered the art.