Tale of Diep:Sassafras

'Sassafras is more than meets the eye. His eye. His friendly eye...'

Overview
Sassafras is a that spawns under some stringent conditions. Someone with a Permanent Upgrade from the must be killed by a Guardian, Summoner, Defender, Fallen Booster, or Fallen Overlord. Created by Zathsu.

Sassafras is a large tan hexagon. A single circular eye, like that of, sits on top of it, but with a yellow pupil on a black sclera. At each of the edges on top of him, giant Trapper Auto Turrets and Auto Dominator Turrets alternate. Since they are Auto Turrets, they can aim at players. On each side is a spawner that spans its entire side. He was created by.

BGM:



Behavior


Sassafras will wander around surprisingly quickly, looking around at players with the glowing yellow pupil in its black eye, sometimes squinting at players. It will spin slowly as well, like an Auto 5.

The Trapper barrels fire out Mega Traps and the Dominator barrels will track the closest player. The Dominator bullets slightly curve and home in on players, but with so little effort it's almost unnoticeable. They will explode into a ring of sixteen smaller bullets (the size of a 's) four seconds after firing if it did not make contact with a player.

Sassafras' spawners will shoot out small tan hexagonal Gunner Minions called 'Sassafras', that get into groups and gun down players. There is a maximum of 2 per spawner. They can have either one, two, or three eyes on them, and can either have a hat or not, for a total of six varieties. When a Sassafras minion is destroyed, all other Sassafras Minions will get the Frenzy buff for 2 seconds. Every minion will say the word 'Sassafras' every few seconds, quietly, but will say different things in certain quotes. Each Sassafras minion has 250 health.

During the battle, various random phrases with absolutely no meaning will be said. These lines are usually references to other famous lines, quotes, or pop culture, things in the Tale of Diep, or just absolute nonsense. This is to disorient his foes. >_<



Quotes
'''New quotes can be added by anyone. Two rules: Italicize all quotes. And put new ones at the bottom. The rest is yours if you have ideas. Also note, quote purges may happen to remove some. Other than that, have fun.'''
 * "You remind me of birds more than pelicans..."
 * "According to all known laws of aviation..."
 * "I wumbo. You wumbo. He, she, we... wumbo?"
 * "Something smells funny."
 * "You can string cheese but can you tuna fish?"
 * "It's out of my hands, I'm only a clock."
 * "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
 * "I put the 'F' in piccolo"
 * "Are you feeling it now?"
 * "Rock. Paper. Scissors. Shoot..."
 * "I vacuum the bugs out of the air with my mouth."
 * "Welcome to your tape..."
 * "Swords must bleed and blood must swing."
 * "And so the world went... all nonsense..."
 * "IT HIT ITSELF IN CONFUSION!"
 * "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are 'ya!"
 * "I... KNOW EVERYTHING. AND YOUUUUU... KNOW NOTHING!"
 * "And now a kind South African man will come in and break all of your thumbs"
 * "It's a bit salty. Like a fresh wound."
 * "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
 * "The answer to life, to the universe, everything, is 42."
 * "Han Solo dies at the end"
 * "Can jet fuel melt steel beams?"
 * "And then the Winged Hussars arrived!"
 * "You have been in suspension for 9... 9... 9... 9... 9..."
 * "Get over here!"
 * "What does the fox say?"
 * "Burn, baby, burn."
 * "I like trains."
 * "NINE MORE SEASONS, MORTY!"
 * "A bit of the bubbly."
 * "He died seventeen days into rehab."
 * "The flight has been overbooked. We need four volunteers..."
 * "Its three minutes to midnight..."
 * "We are number one?"
 * "Hello, are you interested in my religion?"
 * "I AM THE SENATE!"
 * "I've got candy in my van"
 * "Four score and seven years ago..."
 * "CHOCOLATE RAIN!"
 * "GAAARRRRYYY!"
 * "Houston, we have a problem,"
 * "Isaac and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill..."
 * "I brought you a bass but the beat dropped it"
 * "What are all these socks doing here?"
 * "You make me mad. Like water in a swimming pool..."
 * "It's like living in a mountain, but with chickens..."
 * "NOOoooo! THIS CANNOT BEEEEEE!"
 * "It's all there black and white, clear as crystal!"
 * "Face the corner and touch it with your nose"
 * "Please stop bathing with each other, it makes me uncomfortable."
 * "Peeled and smothered, like fine fresh vegetables,"
 * "Oh no, I ate that banana, and now I have cancer"
 * "Put that thing back where it came from, OR SO HELP ME!"
 * "KA-ME HA-ME HAA!!!"
 * "Stop punching the cheese!"
 * "Some people say I have a nice mass"
 * "You're full of sausages"
 * "The juice is loose"
 * "CAREER SUICIDE"
 * "LISTEN, I AM YOUR FATHER!"
 * "Hold on, I need to put on my fast pants"
 * "...LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"
 * "UNLIMITED POWER!"
 * "Eat my shorts!"
 * "Dark humor isn't everyone's cup of liquid baby"
 * "He who laughs at the towel"
 * "Get ready to meet my special friend..."
 * "Paint me like one of your french tanks"
 * "Polygon Mother-Chan!"
 * "DELETE MY SEARCH HISTORY!"
 * "Snakes? Snakes?? SNAAAAAAAKKKEESS!"
 * "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!"
 * "Are your fists cold?"
 * "It's Jim! The original fry cook!"
 * "I eat floor off the food!"
 * "HAHAHA- wait, no, MWAHAHAHA!"
 * "whY My shOuLDerS HUrt?"
 * "Like some predatory bird..."
 * "Tanks are circles, my eye is a circle, therefore my eye is a tank."
 * "Carrots are orange, some cats are orange, therefore orange cats are carrots."
 * "MACBETH!"
 * "I hate dust."
 * "Understandable, have a good day."
 * "THE IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE!"
 * "Where's pizza?"
 * "OF COURSE I'M NOT MENTALLY ILL!"
 * "Sassafras of sassy" 
 * "Beli is my best friend."
 * "HEXEN WILL BE GLAD THAT I'M CLASSIFIED AS A HEXAGON!"
 * "The Polygon Mother does indeed has a husband."
 * "FUN FUN FUN FUN!"
 * "GO GO POWER RANGERS"
 * "That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works!"
 * "You make a loopy-loop and pull..."
 * "Pablo Escobar has escaped from prison"
 * *laughs in Foreign*
 * "POYO ACHACHINI!"
 * "Can you please sit on my lap?"
 * "All your base are belong to us."
 * "Its small, but the implications of it are large..."
 * "More Info Coming Soon!"
 * "This is what i do, i sit on you, sit on you, sit on you..."
 * "Hello, could you spare some time to talk about our lord and savior Sassafras?"
 * "Once there was an ugly War Machine... it was so ugly that everyone DIED. The end. :3"
 * "Kek to infinity."
 * "SomeBODY once told me that i was a shed..."
 * "Until you dream no more."
 * "DeeKow."
 * "We are basically doughnuts,"
 * "Press Alt+F4 to escape!"
 * "My family used to dream of what was beyond this wall..."
 * "WARNING: ORGANIC LIFEFORMS REQUIRE O2 MASK"
 * "If you can't do the crime then don't serve the time"
 * "Prepare for nuclear attack!"
 * "I wonder if my Disco-Rama wig is being shipped now!"
 * "I was born in the wrong generation!"
 * "Ladies first..."
 * "So you're as good with your hands as you say?"
 * "NEVER go out in a blizzard."
 * "I will trespass upon you and your areas"
 * "WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS!"
 * "It's so easy when you're evil..."
 * "Hello, killer memestar here!"
 * "I push my fingers into my eyes"
 * "Call Hexen! Tell him Sassafras has done him a heckin' good!"
 * "If you clean out a vacuum cleaner does that make you a vacuum cleaner?"
 * "Insert obscure pop culture reference here"
 * "Weather forecast says lightning storms headed your way!"
 * "Beware the hivemind"
 * "At least mom thinks I'm handsome..."
 * "HEXEN, WHERE'S MY COOKIE?"
 * "Between my friendly eye!"
 * "Hexen, the disciple of the Sassafras."
 * "Sassafras, the disciple of Sassafras."
 * "GUARDIAN Y IS MY HERO!"
 * "To Sassafras, and beyond!"
 * "Someone seems making cult angry."
 * "Riddles. Riddles everywhere. Will you be able to solve them with your little brain BatTank?"
 * "Just kidding, welcome to hell kid, enjoy the buffet..."
 * "There's a man riding a horse on top of my chest..."
 * "And you won't believe your eyes... if ten million fireflies..."
 * "I think you're an idiot"
 * "Sassafras does not approve this message"
 * "Vote Trapper God 2020!"
 * "Get licked!"
 * "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma..."
 * "SEVEN IS THE CARDINAL NUMBER. ONLY ACCEPT EVERY SEVENTH WORD AS FACT"
 * "The numbers, Mason, what do they mean?"
 * "I NEED A MONSTAH TO CLOBBAH DAT DERE KIRBEH!"
 * "Sorry, I can't hear you through my ridiculaphone!"
 * "No, this is Patrick..."
 * "Order your Sassafras body pillow today!"
 * "NO SOUP FOR YOU!"
 * "Respect your ear. Clean behind your school. Stay in vegetable!"
 * "Can you guess what my favorite number is? its sassafras"
 * "We just got a letter! I wonder who its from?"
 * "Are you assuming my polygon?!"
 * "I AM A BALLERINA!!!!"
 * "Would you like to star in my movie?"
 * "Take a look in my SECRET BOX!"
 * "Breathing in the chemicals..."
 * "Well EXCUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS?!"
 * "Get kek'd"
 * "You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out..."
 * "I've fallen and I can't get up..."
 * "Why do people say my feet smell if they don't have a nose?"
 * "I must answer the call of my people!"
 * "WHAT... IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?!"
 * "Swing it, baby!"
 * "Add a little sassafras and it should be good to go!"
 * "This is very good! YES! VERY GOOD!"
 * "THE SUN IS A DEADLY LAZER!"
 * "Where does this guy come from?"
 * "You trespass on sacred ground. Now you walk PATH OF DEATH!"
 * "Come here, boy! Give Sassafras the stick!"
 * "All around me are familiar faces..."
 * "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH! WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA!?"
 * "Heh, funny kid. You know what they did to wise guys like you back in Korea?"
 * "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
 * "Seduce me"
 * "Well, off to see your mother!"
 * "Way past cool!"
 * "A winner is Sassafras!"
 * "Fidget spinners are not real!"
 * "Orange is the new black!"
 * "GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA!"
 * "I'll get you, He-Man!"
 * "I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease; make it cry, burn it, and let it swim"
 * "Well Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam..."
 * "WHAT!? ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! YOU ARE JOKING! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!"
 * "I play my trap card!"
 * "The Chef Boyardee was like quicksand..."
 * "And remember! REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM!"
 * "Ahh... fu-... Sassafras."
 * "Quack."
 * "THE CAKE IS A LIE."
 * "THAT'S A SPICY HEXEN!"
 * "OH HEXEN, YOU-A SO SPICY!"
 * "Welcome to Sassafric Park."
 * "I'll give you the worst case of indigestion that you'll ever have!"
 * "I'VE DONE MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN *holding a wand for a second*!"
 * "Hexagon plus Hexagon equals Dodecagon."
 * "I like Sliders, juicy sliders..."
 * "This is an unholy demon. I'm sending it back to hell, where it belongs."
 * "Hey hey hey, this is Fat Albert."
 * "Not until I shift into... *spins slowly* MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!! *speeds up and shakes*"
 * "TOP OF THE MORNING DEAR LADDIES "
 * "I hereby declare the all tanks be renamed pewers!! *anything nearby with arms facepalms*"
 * "The London Sassafras is falling up!"
 * "And now the weather..."
 * "IT'S ****ING COLD!" (Said after the above quote)
 * "Why are there 10 luigi's stored in this room?"
 * "Republican Party, Democratic Party, Gremloids Party, MARIO PARTY"
 * "I'm going to kill you. Have a good day!"
 * "Green is a creative color."
 * "I SPIN DELTRABLADEZ FOR FUN"
 * "TOdAy I PrEsEnT t0 YoU, ThE Pencil."
 * "Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet, that's the way on Topsy Turvy Day!"
 * "Hakuna Matata"
 * "Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."
 * "DWA is best anime"
 * "You see, HexIvan, if you hold memestol like me, you shall NEVER shoot inaccurate because of shooting fingers"
 * "This wouldn't have happened if we reestablished Communism..." (When Sassafras kills someone)
 * "Guten Tag Hexen. Anschluss zeit?"
 * "Mad Hatter cannot into hat"
 * "DO IT FOR THE CEREALS"
 * "Ozun is a quality bot."
 * "THE BLUE BOMBER SHOOTS LEMONS"
 * "I'm serious! Mad Hatter stole our minion's hats!"
 * "One of these days, Mad Hatter will kiss his hat goodbye!"
 * "KISSY KISSY KISSY AWAY!!!" (Said after the above quote)
 * "Did you know the square root of Perpendiculus is ridiculous?"
 * "THE ALL SEEING EYE IS ME! Ha, Ha, HAAAAAAAAAAH."
 * "I poke your bum and drink your rum!"
 * "Get Shreked."
 * "SHARKS!!!"
 * "Mmm, wasabi! Guess who also like wasabi, --- OH SPICY HEXEN DOES!!!"
 * "Today, you earn a mole of moles. Go count that yourself."
 * "By the all seeing eye..."
 * "MMMMMMM!- Cheesy."
 * "D'oh! (Said occasionally when a minion dies)
 * "Shut up and take my money!"
 * "Daisies, Marigolds, Sunflowers, Zee Tee, Tulips, Hydrangeas, Pansies, Violets, Roses, Crocus, Orchids, Peonies..."
 * "ENOUGH PLUMBERS"
 * "AH ha ha! AH ha ha! It's a Sassafras."
 * "Wear a mask made of dirt, Zelda."
 * "I watch you get splattered by durians."
 * "You are my favorite lilly pad."
 * "Don't you care about CHILDREN?"
 * "Tenks."
 * "DON'T TOUCH DA CHILD!!!!"
 * "Vegeta! What is the spiciness of the Hexen?"
 * "IT'S OVER 9000!!!! (Said after the above quote with double volume)
 * "Most disputes die and no one shoots!"
 * "Alright. I can see, that I will have to teach you how to be TEAMERZ!"
 * "Error. It seems you have found a bug. Please report it so we can fasdfa awawe4 AHAHAHAHA."
 * "It's just a prank, bro!" (Said after the above quote)
 * "I deploy my MINION HORDE!" (Said when deploying a full load of Sassafras Minions)
 * "Tanks. Tenks. Thenks. Thanks. Think"
 * "THONK" (Said after the above quote -- a random brick which is harmless to the tanks will fly over and knock Sassafras, but this does nothing and is purely cosmetic)
 * "Three fights of this are not visible to tanks normally. One you must ask to be let into and in doing so we are not responsible for loss of brain cells that occur then. Two you must be let in. By me. And death."
 * "All hail the Llama God."
 * "Mier Mier."
 * "One shall stand. One shall fall. One shall sass."
 * "Me Sassafras KING!"
 * "Photons have no mass. Hexen has no dignity. Therefore Hexen is a photon."
 * "Have you heard of the Elder Scrolls?"
 * "Ah!!! Bothered and befuddled!"
 * "I was once an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee..."
 * "Believe in the me that believes in you!"
 * "And his name is JOHN CENA!!!"
 * "Error 404 - Hexen's dignity not found. Please retry in 6... 6... 6..."
 * "Do you wonder why Hexen is so spicy? That's because he looks like he's made of 100% wasabi!"
 * "Eat pant"
 * "SIPN2TAEM" (Sassafras and all of its Sassafras Minions will start spinning around for 4 seconds)
 * "Oh Spicy You-A So Hexen!"
 * "FUTURE CAN SEE INTO THE I, WORMS WILL BE COUNTING YEE!"
 * "Why Angery?"
 * "I'd like some salt with those tears..."
 * "I ordered this toilet bowl well done."
 * "My day is ruined, and my disappointment is immeasurable."
 * "I want to buy new CD, but alas I cannot afford $26.95..."
 * "I am a polygon. A circle is a polygon. A tank is a circle. Therefore I am a tank."
 * "Who put this pineapple on my pizza? That's not real pizza!"
 * "Awwwww, relationship goals!"
 * "Sassasassassaaass-sa-sa-SASSAFRAS!"
 * "I'm seeing stars!"
 * "Presto! And like that, the tank is gone!"
 * "I wonder if Hexen tastes minty..."
 * "I NEED PILLZ."
 * "Bumo."
 * "Byte my shiny metal Sassafras."
 * "HI! I'm Aqua Man, but you can call me HANDSOME
 * This malebox is mine!
 * "Donuts!"
 * "DO YOU HAVE ONE YEAR OF ZERO EXPERIENCE? DO YOU SPEAK UNITED STATES?"
 * "I am a hexagon. Hexen is a hexagon. Therefore I have the same amount of Spiciness of Hexen."
 * "How many layers of irony are you on?"
 * "Shinoby vanish!"

Trivia

 * Guardian Bosses are my attempt at simple bosses, and as such, they are not of a similar caliber to the Sons of Panzer or anything of the like.
 * May eventually become a regular Polygon Boss. He will keep everything though.
 * Sassafras was raised by ducks from a young age. It's how he mastered the art.
 * Sassafras is a big fan of.
 * Multiple Sassafras can either be referred to as "Sassafrasses" or "Sassafras", for example; both the phrases "two Sassafras" and "two Sassafrasses" are acceptable.
 * Sassafras's favorite food is wasabi because it's green and "spicy" like.
 * He is in the ...