Thread:El armadillo/@comment-19218166-20161219000314

script for a fake commercial

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IS YOUR WIFES FOOD A MONSTROSITY THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT?

"what the fuck is this!"

"i saw it on a cooking show!"

"no you fucking didn't!"

THEN USE KETCHUP! IT WILL COVER THE FOUL TASTES FROM SHITTY FOOD!

"here's your order sir"

"what??? i didn't order this turd!"

"yes you did"

"now what am i going to do!"

USE KETCHUP!

"ketchup?"

YES! KETCHUP! IT WILL MAKE BAD FOOD TASTE GOOD!

"wow that's amazing! you must be lying!"

NO! I'M NOT!

"really?"

YES!! NOW PUT THE FUCKING KETCHUP ON THE FOOD!

"okay okay calm down!"


 * ketchup falls from the sky on the table"

"................"

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

"what?"

USE THE DAMN KETCHUP!

"well, where is it?"

ON THE FUCKING TABLE YOU MORON

"wait, you mean this weird red thing?"

YES GODDAMNIT!

"............it looks like shit"


 * cocks pistol* *grabs woman and points the gun at the woman* GRAB THE FUCKING KETCHUP OR I'M GOING TO KILL THIS BITCH!

"HELP!'


 * covers woman's mouth*

"mmpphh!"

SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU!

"jesus christ! okay okay, i will use the ketchup!"


 * pours ketchup on his tounge*

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

"using ketchup?"

NO, DUMBASS, YOU NEED TO PUT IT ON THE DAMN FOOD!


 * drops ketchup bottle on food*

YOU FUCKING IDIOT! HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT.


 * puts ketchup on the food*

"wow, that looks....worse"

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


 * shoots woman, then starts shooting everyone else, with people in the background screaming*


 * screen changes to a table with two botttles of ketchup on it*

yeah...............ketchup

BUY IT NOW! 