Tale of Diep (ToD) is no longer under active development as a derivative of and remains here as an archive, though spin-offs such as The Extended Tale of Diep remain active. For info on the successor to Tale of Diep, now an independent work called "A Tale Where Nothing Matters", visit its Discord server here.

Here's a little lesson, in trickery... this is going down in history!

"We Are Number One" is a boss that has an absolutely random chance to spawn out of nowhere. It is considered an Event Boss. Created by Zathsu.


We Are Number One is a group of four Smashers that are colored like the clothes of Robbie Rotten and have his hair style on top of them. The original is slightly larger than the others and is named "Robbie Rotten".



  • I Will Teach You How To Be... VILLAINS: Pulls out a saxophone and plays the iconic ten notes that start the song. All the clones and himself get Speedy for 8 seconds.
  • Caged: The others will surround Robbie Rotten as he sets up a ring of 20 Traps and throws them at three players. There is a 1/5 chance a clone will wander into the traps instead, and take 100 damage.
  • Master of Disguise: Robbie Rotten will become a random Level 45 unnamed tank for 10 seconds, and his clones begin scrambling around releasing bullets in all directions.
  • Look At This Net... That I Just Found!: The four will stand in a rectangle and a square net will connect them.
  • When I Say Go... Be Ready To Throw...!: They all prepare by moving toward a player.
  • Eh... GO!: Robbie Rotten will get stuck in the net and get Slowed for 6 seconds. But he will also get Armored and deal more damage for 10 seconds.
  • Slip and Slide, On This Banana Peel!: Throws out three banana peels that inflict Paralyzed and Stunned for 5 seconds. They last for a long time.
  • Decoherent Shouting: Will squabble around rapidly and aimlessly, charging into enemy players. Lasts for quite a while. The screen flashes rainbow colors and zooms in and out during this ability.
  • Cannonball!: The three clones will push up a cannon. But they accidentally fire it at Robbie Rotten, launching him across the arena and doing 400 damage to him. Any players he hits while flying away instantly die.
  • We Are Number One!: They all ram into the #1 player, killing him. They then heal 200 health. The #1 spot is taken by Robbie Rotten.


  • All of the attack names either relate to events in the video, or are lyrics from the song.
  • We Are Number One...
  • The BGM is also the inspiration.
Bosses (Tale of Diep)
Polygon Bosses Polypatrons: GuardianSummonerDefenderLeviathanDemolishorVanguardTrapperzoidHeptazoidColliderSlider • Tri-Seeker • ConstructionistBattle CarrierArmorboatMessenger • Gunship • SeptashotDreadnoughtSpreaderWarshipTrape FighterNonation • Phage Lord • Industrian • Barricador • Terminator • Conquistador • PulsarDeltrabladeCascade Army • Vis Ultima • Excubitor • Quintet • Umbra • Savior • Constellation • Spartan • Vortex • Implosionist • Lurk • Earthquake • Asteriscus • Sassafras

Mechagons: Guardian LSummoner Mk. IIDefender PrimePenta-Powergon

Realm Bosses Emperor ScorpioX-BowClaxim the Crooked • Illumina Goliath • Cavern Fiend • Mother Moonhand • Usurper of the SunOvercharm • Sanctus the Blind • Mistress Cadavera • The MonstrosityHollow GougerWallflower • Hand of the Dunes • Minion Horde • Runic Husk • The Forgotten King • Tharea the Shattered • Banished Three • Captain Chromehook • Guardian XStormbringer • Avarice • War Machine • Giga-Droid • Allgazer • Herald of the Altar • Skullcrusher • Honorable of the High Order • The Begotten • Writhe • Cinder Ancient • Scourge of the Crimson Sky
Sons of Panzer Primordial Sons: The PentagunThe ChimæraThe WolfThe DecimatorThe Trio of DoomThe SupplementThe HelixThe EstuaryThe TitanThe FurnaceThe TorrentThe ShadowThe OctagonThe KeeperThe ArrowThe MasonThe ArtisanThe LichThe PuppetmasterThe SoldierThe TacticianThe Tres GeminosThe OvermasterThe BureaucratThe PrinceThe JudicatorThe Veil

Mechanical Sons: The AutomatonThe StrategistThe FrigateThe SawThe Cyborg

Final Sons: The HarbingerThe WarhandThe PestilentThe Siphon

Gladiator Bosses Jack of HeartsBane of DronesFirestarterSumo KabloomOverdriveLeaping WarmindAdversaryWicked PrinceRoyale
Paramarchs Patapars • Hypoten • Noma • Xharen • Cinnabar • Proxima & Cidetris • Harriet • Declan • Diacaster • Khan Scorpnida • Andax • Yulron • Ralfus • Seventry • Combostrum • Righ O'Larr • Wernad • Decolosis • Lyptna • Helazor
High Prophets GaiusVictit • Timidis • AllegorLocke
Polygon Disciples PerpendiculusTritesPentavianHexenSeptaurOctraxEnnealisDecratite
Event Bosses The Storm of Fragments • Soul of Azerot • Draconis RexThe PrismGlimpse of PanzerAcolyte of Doom
Legendary Bosses ArchprophetNostradamusWar Machine IIDr. LacusBelisariusApostle of Panzer
Era Bosses Avatar of Panzer
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